It is indeed true that talking about suicide is actually a frightening event, but a very open and honest talk related to suicide decreases the numbers of suicidal deaths. Therefore, this is an urgent public health crisis. Being prepared to respond to a friend, family member, or co-worker can help make sure they get the help they need. It could be very awkward, but it's important to be very tactful and thoughtful in your conversations.
Before the Conversation
Just before having your talk, find out what the suicidal warning signs are. With knowledge about such factors and warning indicators, you would conduct the talk much better. Have a list of area crisis hotlines, support groups, and mental health resources in advance. Being prepared can help in the real world if, during the course of the conversation, it leads to the determination that professional help is needed or warranted.
Prioritize having some solitude and peace. It could be in a quiet café or perhaps in a private room, or you could even take a walk. If a one-on-one conversation seems too awkward, it is possibly better to do it over the phone or by email. Also, make sure he or she is comfortable being with you. Make sure you have the conversation when the person is relaxed and not under the influence of some negative element, such as drugs or alcohol. Do not bring this talk up when you are backing the person into a corner. Do not let there be any external noise that will keep the conversation from being fully heard, and make sure you have more than enough time to discuss this without feeling like you are in a rush.
Approach the person in concern with warmth and tolerance. Convey your empathetic attitude through tone and body language. Express your concern as a means to open the conversation. Encourage them to talk about their feelings with open-ended questions. For example: "I feel something different in you lately. Can we talk about how you are feeling? I'd like to understand what you're going through, and I care about you."
Asking directly if someone is suicidal can be awkward; know you are opening the door to a needed conversation. The primary fear for many is this will "plant the idea" somehow in the person's mind. Yet, studies show quite the opposite: openly talking about having suicidal ideation can often be a relief to the struggling individual. You can directly confront them with your concerns if you feel they are approachable on this issue: "Are you thinking of killing yourself?" These questions give the message that it is okay to talk about painful feelings and you really do care.
Do not at any point interrupt when they start to talk. Allow them to speak out their feelings and thoughts to the fullest. Do not at any point become judgmental or argumentative. The feelings should not be belittled at any point or conclusions made. Do not be judgmental or transparent. If you are cool, the person might not be too defensive and may feel safe. One wouldn't at this point offer solutions or promise to "solve " the problem. Just provide a safe container where they can offload. Just listen. Even saying things like "You must feel really overwhelmed" or "I see that you're really burdened right now" would suffice.
Never minimize their feelings or say things such as, "It could be worse." On the contrary, let them know how deep the pain cuts, and reassure them that this is an okay feeling to have. Often, it is appealing to offer something or to fix the problem, but most of the time, what is really sought after is listening. Let them know that they are not alone in suffering and show empathy concerning the pain. Let them know you are there now and will be in the future also to help them: "I want to help however I can; I'm here for you." If they are suicidal, get professional help. You can even go with them or help find the help they need. If possible, lead them to resources like a hotline, therapist, or counselor.
After the Conversation
Call periodically to check in. Periodic calls help to reassure the person that they are not alone. That gesture can take one a long way, but just knowing that you are cared for can help a lot. Checking up on someone can be done by texting, calling, or setting a time to meet face-to-face.
Discussion of suicide is always distressing, and it is necessary to take care of one's own mental health, as well. Consider contacting a friend, relative, or counselor after this discussion to check in with a debriefing. It is important to care for one's self when others are in crisis.
Talking to someone about suicidal thoughts is the first of all ways to help a person in distress. If you are kind, honest, and encouraging, you help create room for openness. Sometimes, much of what is necessary is just simply being with the person; you don't have to say or know all the answers.